Salute to Margaret Sanger

Ah yes, the Birth Control Pill.  We are hearing much about it these days because the Pill has a birthday this month.  It is 50 years old, which means I'm old enough, and my mother was old enough, to enjoy its benefits.  (How well it worked for my mother is another story altogether.)

Still, I'd like to raise my glass and toast Margaret Sanger and the other visionaries who contributed to this most useful invention. 

Without the Pill, I wonder whether I'd have an advanced college degree or an interesting career.  (Yes, feminism was already on the rise and I am certainly not implying that the Pill alone made these things possible for me as a woman.  Still, the ability of women to take charge of family planning no doubt contributed.)

I also wonder just how many kids I'd have by now, and how old they would be.  I didn't marry until my late 20's, and I didn't have my first child until I was 30.  That's not unusual for college-educated women these days, though it's still a bit older than the national average.  And gads, who would those children be with?!  I was not necessarily promiscuous, but I certainly wasn't making the best choices in the man department at 20.  If puppy love (and all that it entails) had automatically resulted in children, my life would be different indeed.

Without a doubt I'm a better mother for having been able to wait on starting my family.  This isn't a knock on women who have children young.  I know several who had kids early and they are not only great mothers, but they also have put together great educations and careers.  For me personally, maturity and selflessness (two key ingredients for good parenting) blossomed a bit late.  Could I have sucked it up and tossed aside my independence, self-centeredness and general desire for fun if I'd needed to?  Probably.  But I love the fact that I got to be a single gal and all that entails for as long as I did.  Now that my life revolves around preschool, diapers and playdates, I can look back wistfully, but without regret.

Now if they would only invent a magic pill for some of life's other challenges. 

More reasons to like gum

I, for one, would enjoy my nightly dose of television a great deal more if gum-makers would air more commercials. 

Gum is one of those products where a :30 spot may actually matter.  I mean, a pack of gum costs what it costs.  (No way to battle on price.)  It all tastes about the same.  (Although they keep coming up with ridiculous flavors.  Pomegranate gum?  Blech.)  And it all performs the same basic function, although you can try to highlight different benefits to a small degree.  Like toothpaste, gum provides a perfect snapshot of why many product categories still need the added value a brand can infuse in order to differentiate themselves in the marketplace.

Plus, some of the ads are just plain entertaining. 

I like the Orbit ads with the cute British girl talking about how clean or dirty your mouth is.  ("Fabulous!")Because, hey, that's why I chew gum.  And if those scuzzy mud-wrestlers have twinkly smiles and fresh breath, then surely a piece of Orbit can help with my much-less-challenging oral hygiene.

I also like the Stride commercials where unsuspecting folks are forced in extreme ways to spit out their gum. Especially when the guy gets butted by the goat.  That's right up there with the best Superbowl ad this year in my book. 

I even like the over-engineered "5 Gum" ads, where they lower that person into a giant hair dryer, just to show you the goosebumps you'll get by chewing their minty flavor.  Now that's truly advertising the way I like it: a commercial that looks like it cost roughly the same amount of money as Ridley Scott's latest film... all to sell you a $1.29 product.  Woo hoo!

There are bad, boring gum ads.  And there are plenty of gum brands that don't even bother with television advertising.  And while a great ad will likely get me to try a new brand once... I tend to migrate back into familiar territory when grabbing a pack in the check-out aisle. 

Still, I'd like to salute the more creative chewing gum advertisers for providing more than just a useful, delicious, low-calorie product.  Thanks for going the extra mile and actually providing some entertaining advertising as well.

The Apocalyptic Economy: Investing in the Worst Case Scenario

When the sun rises on a blasted landscape teeming with disease and mutants trying to eat your brains, you are going have to decide what is really valuable to you and your survival. Sadly, it is not going to be that fancy sports car, those super sexy stilettos, or any of the toys that you own. Survival will depend upon arable land, drinkable water and the will and ability to fight for these things. The modern human all too often makes the mistake of valuing objects that are merely shiny and decorative rather than actually useful. Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but in the event of world ending horror, they are only useful if they are a weapon. A nice sharp diamond dagger could really do some damage to a mutant's soft and dangly parts. Guns are all well and good, but you also need to stockpile ammo or have the ability to make your own. So in preparation for the worst case scenario, what is the most profitable way to spend your time and money?

The number one investments for those preparing for the collapse of society are weapons such as swords, knives, and spears and lessons on how to use them effectively. This will be essential to surviving long enough to reach a safe sanctuary and give you the ability to defend your limited resources and personal safety. For those with the ability to think on a grander scale, investing in several acres of land that is remote from major population centers and contains its own water source and fertile soil is the best investment you can make. It is a plus if the land contains natural features such as mountains that make it easily defensible.

Once you have your land you can start refining it to create your own post apocalyptic sanctuary. It would be wise to first create some sort of shelter. Either sturdy above ground dwellings or a network of underground bunkers would be good, but a mixture of both is optimal. Whatever you decide make sure it is self sustaining and completely off the grid. This includes a sanitation and water filtration system and the ability to generate your own energy through the use of solar panels or wind mills of some sort. Building a mill and a forge would also add value to your apocalyptic shangri-la.

Now that the compound is built you will need supplies. Stock up on canned food so that you give yourself time to grow crops. The apocalypse will not occur on your planting schedule. Make sure you have plenty of seed available to plant. Your next investment should be livestock of some kind. Now don't over do it on the livestock, you don't want to be struggling to feed five hundred head of cattle when supplies are scarce, but horses, cows, and chickens would be a beneficial addition to any compound. Simple medical supplies will also be useful but don't expect to be able to rely on modern medicine. It would be better to spend time and money studying natural herbal cures and obtaining as many of the necessary plants as possible. There will be no supply trucks so think self sustaining and renewable resources. Now the last and most important investment you can make for the doom of humankind may seem strange, but I urge you, nay implore you to stockpile salt. This versatile substance is necessary to preserve food and life, and in the post apocalyptic economy may become more valuable than gold. So when thinking about your future or lack thereof, I encourage you to rethink that great new IPO or ten thousand shares of Microsoft because when things get gritty those investments will make really great toilet paper.