Stumbling toward political correctness

As someone born in the 1970s, I experienced a lot of vernacular usage of the word "gay" and the word "retarded." I participated wholeheartedly in same.

Now that both of these slang terms have been identified as offensive slurs -- complete with public service announcement and mea culpa from Lady Gaga -- I have striven to remove them from my vocabulary. (Except for, as my excellent friend points out, literal usage. I mean, I hope it's still OK to compliment someone on their gay apparel? At least when accompanied by a hearty "Fa-la-la?")

I slip up occasionally. Just the other day, I used the word retarded. I immediately slapped my hand over my mouth and apologized, but still. But anyone who was the appropriate age when, say, the movie Valley Girls came out, or who ever had a poster of DuranDuran taped to their wall, knows that these two words took up an inordinate amount of real estate in our developing vocabularies. Old habits die hard.

It's easy to grow weary of the PC police. I mean, the front line coppers in the realm of disabilities have called for us to eliminate the terms "developmentally disabled" and even "blind." (I believe the correct term for both is now "differently abled.") I get where they're coming from. I truly do. But it can be difficult for even the most well-meaning person to keep up with what's potentially offensive.

Wearily, I will admit that this is probably exactly how my grandparents felt about the words "negro" and "colored person."

"What do you mean, that's offensive?" (I can hear Grandpa grumbling.) "It's a perfectly nice thing to say!" (Yeah, about 15 years ago, Gramps.) So maybe my withering wits are just incapable of keeping perfect track of the twists and turns of today's cultural linguistics. Or maybe I'm growing old and stubborn, stuck in my ways. Or maybe the demands of the PC police really are getting just a bit out of hand.

God forbid anyone's feelings get bruised in the Millennium Of Sensitivity.

Are You There Oprah? It's Me Mary....

Dear Oprah,

Today you aired the final episode of your talk show which has been a staple of daytime television for 25 years. For most of my life you have been on TV, dear Oprah, and although I have not been a regular viewer, I always been an admirer, a student, and yes a fan. In fact my friends and I used to say when we were in our early 20’s and just out of college that we did not want to be one step closer to God, we wanted to be one step closer to Oprah. You took whatever stinking wretched circumstance that life gave you and planted a seed that you nurtured into an amazing garden full of beauty, life, and hope. With this garden you managed to feed a world of hearts, minds, and souls. I found myself watching your show today, tears streaming down my cheeks ( I am a bit of a sap), and I knew there was so much I wanted to say to you. First and foremost I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for answering your calling. Thank you for sharing your ideas and wisdom with your audience. Thank you for making our differences something that unites us instead of dividing us. There are few real people that I can truly say that I wholeheartedly admire and respect in this world. Public figures so often disappoint because they try too hard to be perfect, to be what they thought world wanted or needed them to be. You have only ever been Oprah and what you are is miraculous. Secondly Oprah, I would like to say it has been my pleasure. You devoted an hour to saying thank you to the world today and I want you to know that it has been a joy, a blessing, and a wonder. You have entertained and educated and made the world a little better than how you found it. Today I had a thought, “what if there had never been an Oprah?”, and I wrote a little poem about it.

What if there had never been an Oprah?
Would the light seem a little dimmer?
Would we be a less wise, less caring, and less free?
What if there had never been an Oprah?
Would colors be a little duller?
Would we be less united, less educated, and less unafraid?
What if there had never been an Oprah?
The world would be a little smaller, a little meaner,and
a lot colder.
What if there had never been an Oprah?
I, for one, am grateful that I will never have to know.

In conclusion, my dear dear Oprah, I would like to end with something from Lennon and McCartney. “And in the end the love you make is equal to the love you take.” Thank you for the love Oprah and you’re welcome.

A desperate stab at cultural relevance

Ahhh, the new Beastie Boys album: Hot Sauce Committee Part Two.

Nice try, Boys, but the single listen-able track on the entire album (#7-Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win) sounds like a mediocre Thrill Kill Cult track from the 90's.

More disturbing is the fact that you re-worked the classic "Fight for Your Right (to Party)" into a new song. The barely recognizable send-up of your own former anthem sent chills up my arms... for all the wrong reasons. Instead of the intended ironic tweak at your "roots," it listens more like a desperate stab at cultural relevance. Note to collective selves: Don't mess with "Brass Monkey."

Your marketing machine deserves some kudos, however. What hasn't evolved musically (well, it's evolved, just perhaps not in an impressive way) about your charming little group has certainly evolved business-wise. After all, the appearances, notices, reviews and general industry "noise" convinced my hubby to buy your latest work.

Or perhaps that was primarily motivated by his own, private, stab at cultural relevance.

This is the Way the World Ends?

According to some rabid Christians driving across the country in RVs, the end days are upon us. In fact, they begin on this coming Saturday May 21st. These zealots point to biblical proof that at 6pm on Saturday the faithful will be raptured, or taken bodily into Heaven, by God. This will leave the imperfect, the sinners, behind on earth to face massive earthquakes and a hell-like war between the forces of good led by one Mr. Jesus Christ and the forces of evil led by the Anti-Christ (so I guess Dick Cheney is going to come back to public “service”). As many faithful Snarklet readers know, the Apocalypse an interest of this blog, but I am not pulling together a survival kit or stocking up on ammo, plastic sheeting and duct tape. Because, dear readers, I don’t believe this is the real thing. First of all the bible is not a good source for concrete information of any kind. It is a book with many authors and drawn from many sources throughout human history. It is not an Ouija board. Second of all, the rapture cannot happen on Saturday because of Oprah. What does Oprah have to do with it? Good question. Think about Oprah. A woman who has given back to the world more than or as much as she has gained from it. She has used her media platform to educate and enlighten the world and to bring people of all races, religions and walks of life closer together. So if anyone deserves to be taken bodily into Heaven, it is Oprah Winfrey, and the reason it won’t happen on Saturday is because that day just won’t work for her. On May 25th the final episode of Oprah’s talk show airs. A star studded occasion that boasts ad prices of Super Bowl proportions, and there is no way that Oprah is going to miss that. She knows that her faithful fans deserve this final goodbye before she exits the syndicated talk show stage forever, and she is going to give it to them. The rapture can wait until Oprah has time for it.